Fairground carousel, spinning wildly out of control in a cheesy noir movie

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Today I:

• Had a busy, busy day.
  
• Ate a single gluten-free chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. And an aspirin.
  
• Discovered that I have a massive pimple somewhere in my upper lip, so bad that my entire lip is swollen up like someone punched me. It's one of those pimples you can't pick too. Maybe my whole face will explode!
  
• Saw wifey off to go to her Grandpa's house again to help with the estate sale. Or garage sale, whichever you prefer. (She tells me later that her favorite sale of the day was selling Grandpa's box o' porn to some attractive woman for two bucks)
  
• Updated a couple of pages at Vuzh Music dot com. Restrained myself from attempting a massive reworking of the site.
  
• Went out to the garage. Popped open the hood of the car and tried to remove the first spark plug... realized I needed a longer extension for my socket wrench. Biked down to Ace to get the extension. Also picked up some squirrel food.
  
• Got the first plug out, used the handy dandy spark plug gap spacing guage to space the gap at .040 inches. Installed the first new plug. Got to use my new torque wrench. Got the socket stuck down in the hole. Had to wrestle with it using a vice-grip for a while to get it out.
  
• Realized I was desperately hungry so I went out for lunch. Saw a young lady typing on her laptop who looked a lot like gandydancer. Smart looking broad! I tried not to stare like a buffoon.
  
• Bought lemonade from some young-uns with a lemonade stand. It was 50 cents for a lemonade, one dollar for lemonade plus a banana. I opted for the lemonade and paid the tykes a dollar. The older boy took my dollar and -- obviously flummoxed by my entrancing beard -- did not know what to do with it. I told him he'd have to give me some change. The boy put the bill in the jar and rustled around with his hand in the jar for a long, long time before handing me 12 cents change. I helped the boy out with his math and was on my way after drinking my two tablespoons worth of lemonade.
  
• Came back and finished my manly task of replacing the sparkplugs. Took the car for a test drive, and to my surprise, all symptoms had vanished. I guess the problem was just crappy plugs all along. I felt like a goddamned donkey for having replaced the fuel pump first.
  
• Crawled back behind the fence to remove another fucking elm sapling. Fucking elms.
  
• Took a gander at the big stump in the trashy neighbors' yard. Since the trashy neighbors are gone most of the time, I reckon we can harvest the oyster mushrooms that fruit from their stump. Unfortunately no mushrooms are popping out right now.
  
• Arranged the garage. Installed a tool organizer, a power bar and a fluorescent light fixture. Organized a lot of stuff. Pulled tools out of the closet in the house and transferred them outside. Suddenly we've gone from having a garage that was just a place to put the car and a bunch of other shit to a place where actual work can be accomplished. We have a work space. I'm very pleased about it, and maybe I'll take photos of it soon.
  
• Took the car out to the car wash. Vaccumed and sprayed down the car.
  
• Came home and wifey had come back, and was mentally exhausted.
  
• Drove the car into the garage, and on lowering the garage door, one of the springs came loose making a large banging noise, and disfiguring the garage door openers' sensors, which caused alarm lights to go off. I'll have to fix the garage door tomorrow, since this happened late, and I need to buy new hardware.
  
• Noted that the rhubarb is flowering. Wifey informed me that this means it's "bolting" and that's something bad. So we have to cut the flower off. Too bad, it looks like it was going to be a spectacular cluster of flowers. The rhubarb plant has grown to outrageous proportions. We already need to make something out of it. We could make about 5 rhubarb pies already. And why the hell not?
  
• Noted also that the sage is about to flower. The spirea is flowering on the North side of the house. I love our spireas.
  
• Bought one of the fancy dandelion weeders, the one where you don't have to break your back by leaning over cutting the root right close to the ground. The one I bought has a nice long handle. All it's missing is a foot pedal. And a bottle opener.
  
• Ate burritos. Drank beer.