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the do-nothing
Dec. 11th, 2001 05:28 pmwhat happens to me if i lose all impulse to create art?
if, for the rest of my life, i never feel like recording music, or drawing, or making collages, or fill-in-the blank, what then?
what if i simply go to work, come home, dick around on the internet, eat, shit, sleep... every single day of the rest of my life?
would that be so bad?
i ought to just sell all my recording studio equipment and give up.
no one really gives a toss about my music, and i'm not willing to work at 'promoting myself' so that i might become 'well-known'. there are enough groups out there, too many in fact. certainly too many to compete against.
it doesn't take talent to build an audience for one's music, it takes motivation to strive for success. i have none of that, and i never have. at the same time i had always felt that my music deserved some recognition -- an audience, didn't matter if it was a small, cult one, that may have even been better.
i'm completely frustrated with the whole process.
my music-label (vuzh music) has been completely dormant for over a year now. i keep saying to myself that i'm going to reformat the back catalogue onto CD and re-package them all,
then re-issue that stuff and launch a website to promote it, but what's the point, really?
i should let the stuff be forgotten. it's not as though anyone's waiting impatiently, or at all, for me to make my recordings available again, or to release anything new.
i'm having a crisis of self-doubt.
is there any point to even expressing myself at all?
the fire's been gone out of my creative impulse for quite a long while now. but, then, it's been gone before, and it has always eventually come back.
if/when that fire comes back, should i keep the joy and the products of my creativity completely private, and fuck-off with attempting to share it?
apologies for this snivelling, whining post.
well,
if one mayn't whine in one's own journal,
where, tell me,
where mayest one whine?
if, for the rest of my life, i never feel like recording music, or drawing, or making collages, or fill-in-the blank, what then?
what if i simply go to work, come home, dick around on the internet, eat, shit, sleep... every single day of the rest of my life?
would that be so bad?
i ought to just sell all my recording studio equipment and give up.
no one really gives a toss about my music, and i'm not willing to work at 'promoting myself' so that i might become 'well-known'. there are enough groups out there, too many in fact. certainly too many to compete against.
it doesn't take talent to build an audience for one's music, it takes motivation to strive for success. i have none of that, and i never have. at the same time i had always felt that my music deserved some recognition -- an audience, didn't matter if it was a small, cult one, that may have even been better.
i'm completely frustrated with the whole process.
my music-label (vuzh music) has been completely dormant for over a year now. i keep saying to myself that i'm going to reformat the back catalogue onto CD and re-package them all,
then re-issue that stuff and launch a website to promote it, but what's the point, really?
i should let the stuff be forgotten. it's not as though anyone's waiting impatiently, or at all, for me to make my recordings available again, or to release anything new.
i'm having a crisis of self-doubt.
is there any point to even expressing myself at all?
the fire's been gone out of my creative impulse for quite a long while now. but, then, it's been gone before, and it has always eventually come back.
if/when that fire comes back, should i keep the joy and the products of my creativity completely private, and fuck-off with attempting to share it?
apologies for this snivelling, whining post.
well,
if one mayn't whine in one's own journal,
where, tell me,
where mayest one whine?
