(no subject)

i need to meditate.

my mind has been taking unhealthy routes lately.
suddenly thinking about some bad things that happened in my recent history for no reason. it does me no good to think about this stuff.
also paranoid of "plots" against me, and feeling unappreciated, this is easier to nab as self-hate thinking and come back to center, but it still keeps creeping up.
then i'm also obsessing on the attack of sept. 11, and fearing our reaction, and their reaction to our reaction...

awareness is my only option.

---

looks like my wrist is still severely screwed up, so i will have to skip two weeks of capoeira. i am also unable to lift weights with it, and capoeira is the only kind of aerobic excersize i can stand, so i haven't exercised at all since the injury. this lack of exercise could have something to do with my thought patterns of late.

good thing: i am armed with the powerful idea that just because i feel some certain way doesn't mean what i've been conditioned to believe it means.

i need practice at coming back to center when the mind wanders into dark-ville. thus, meditation. right now.

two things that make me happy

#1 i do not believe in "should"
(this also applies to "should have")

#2 what THEY think is irrelevant to my life and happiness.

i can't believe

that this album is almost twenty years old.
it is one of my favorites of all time.
classic.


PS: wanted to write something encouraging emma to get a LJ account. do it girly!